Fast Cars

Fat men in their fast cars
Executives with puffy faces, shades always dark
Middle of the road, country road, motorway and life
Bluster through, ignore the detail
Salmon shirt, chardonny
Parp parp, out of the way

Lost 2

The deer wander free here
Grazing at peace amongst the bracken and heather
The rolling moors and heathland their home
My home is far away, I not sure where
The cold wind bites, we draw our coats around us
The deer stare into the east
They can feel the oncoming snow
Feel the chill that will engulf us all

Lost 1

We drove to the top of the hill
We gazed on the deer gathered there
I felt a moment was passing
Roll up the window, come on it's time to go

My time in Purgatory was coming to an end
The snow began to fall
I could feel the chill in the air

My time in Heaven was drawing to a close
Soon all of this would be gone
Moved on, changed, grown, ended

An Old Song - Us

C                                F                G 
Why does a tormented soul have to write?
C                        F                  G
I stroke your hair and drink my wine
E                        Am
But it's only in my mind
F                              C          D 
You've left me again, alone in my thoughts


I remember a time I thought we were so right

I thought we'd stand the test of time

But it's only in my mind

This is it, there is no more

D                     Dm
Take my heart, take my soul
F             G              E7   
Rip it up, tear it out, leave a hole
D                       Dm
Tormented soul, show the door
F                    E7 
Feel that pain, know more

Go to war no more.

C
I thought we were the best
F
I thought we'd pass the test
G
How could I be so wrong?
C
It's nothing to do with being strong
F             G 
Or weak. Don't speak. It's over this time.

This Morning

I can feel it hiding just out of sight
A darkness, a shadow, lingering, biding its time
It's not alone. It comes with a chill.
The gloom hides behind my eyes
Pressing gently, probing, tears burning in defiance
The cold holds onto my shoulders
Its fingertips caress my neck
I step back, a vacuum fills my ears
I hold myself very small 
Cold, grey, life becomes muffled and dark
I remember colour
I remember warmth, life and love
A memory passes before my eyes
I raise my head, I try to see over the wall
To see the life that is passing me by.

2 Otters - The Old Duke - February 2013

"Who will you be next Tuesday ?"
I asked the girl I loved,
"Who will you be next Tuesday?
Will you remember today,
Will you remember the love we shared?
How will it feel? Who will you be?
Who will you be next Tuesday?"

"Who will you be next Wednesday?
Will the wall have grown?
Who will you be next Wednesday
Will you remember the love we have grown?"

"Who will you be next Thursday?
Will you honour what we have sown?
Will you treasure it and keep it and let it grow,
Will there be a Friday to reap the love we have sown?

She read my words and turned away
Then later these words gave back to me,

"I will remember a time and place
And the beautiful features of your face.
The honesty we shared
And the laughter that was there."

"The tears that were nearly cried
And the broken hearts that we try to hide
And fail cos it collides."

"I can't promise you next Tuesday or Wednesday.
Or how Arsenal will perform when Thursday come.
What I do know is that when all is said and done,
I will miss you and wait for your return 
Even though the expectation and disappointment burns!"

...and nothing else matters....

Cold floor

Candles burn

Soft cushions

Warm arms

"...and nothing else matters...", the words ring out

And I can't remember a time

A time like this

When I have felt so wanted, so held, so embraced by a man

In love

It is a wonderful feeling

Warm to the bottom of my soul

Yet scary

A wide open door

It finds a place

A place I can barely remember

An ancient place of familiarity

Before expectation and disappointment

A place of trust and unconditional love

And joy

When I trust myself that this is true

When I trust myself that I deserve this in my life

When I trust myself that I can have this

When I trust myself that this is mine

Then nothing else matters.