The Girl With The Extra Beer

"Are you single?" She inquired
The girl with a beer in each hand
"Yes" the lie came out so easily
The way it has for so many years
None of this was planned
A chance meeting, in a field far away
My first time, her twenty fifth
The Crows and the Monkeys
My only reason for being here
A happy coincidence encouraged by Show of Hands

"Will you still be here when I get back?
This beer I have to deliver
My brother is waiting inside
Whilst we dance around each other out here."

The second lie followed as easily as the first
"Of course" before I melted into the crowd
But It wasn't long before you found me
My hiding places transparent to you
Maybe you could see through my lies
See the truth that lay beneath, concealed
And that's what intrigued you?

No, I'm not single
Not while I'm married to grief
I grieve for a life that has come and gone
And left me as empty as a shell on a beach
The indifference washes over me daily
I'm in here somewhere, I can feel me
Somewhere just beyond reach.

A great sadness fills my life
Long have we been together
A constant companion, my wife
Every day we tear each other apart
The only one who shares my head

No, I'm not teasing or just leading you on
I'm hiding something, holding it close
Like I have for so very long
I'm hiding so many things from you and the world
My life a slow burning hell

But here I am free for a moment
Here I play my part
I wish this moment lasts for ever
I'm the person I would be
If we could all make a new start

"Do you dance?" She asked me
Not yet had her fill of the lies
This time it came without a thought
Not even sure what this one was for
Maybe your expectation was too high.
I dance like there's no-one watching
But no-one can prove if I do
Do I dance? There's just one person who can decide that
I'll leave that answer to you.

"Will you kiss me?", the intrigue had grown too much
All the lies hadn't deceived you,
You needed to feel the truth
This man of mystery,
Of brooding emotion,
Of life unexplored
Of course I'll kiss you, but only when I'm sure

Sure that this will mean something
Not just a passing in the night
A moment of right or wrong
My memories already hold me enslaved
Am I sure I want to add your trust to my bloodied hands?

I came here to express freedom
Much practised throughout the year
I came to meet people
To push back my deepest fears
In that darkness you found me
The girl with the extra beer.