We arrived Thursday morning
Campervans circling like sharks on this one in four hill
Targetting the flat spots, tank tops and sandals make their kill
"Saw it from a mile off, detection powers stronger than Nancy Drew."
Yeah, that's right mate, park it straight across my view.
Engines always running, a demonic diesel din
Morning, noon and night, my god
What was my mortal sin?
Clouds of smoke engulf me
Thick enough to taste
"No fracking in my backyard, I've got enough to waste"
Concentration camp Kommandants man the front lines
Three layers of security, don't sweat it man, this will be fine
Barbed wire, razor wire, trip wire
Queues longer than Terminal 5
"What's in your bag?"
"Let me pat you down"
"What's in your tankard?"
"You ain't bringing that into town"
Welcome to Purbeck Folk Festival, rising as we fall
I get the feeling my type ain't welcome here at all
My van don't have a fixed in sink
I left my torch at home
I got a tinny in my back pocket
It's these little things you don't condone
I came here to see some music
Some bands familiar, maybe some new
Meeting up with old friends
Those I haven't met yet
And maybe even you.
But if you see me late at night
Standing alone at the bar
Please don't approach me
Just watch safely from afar
Forty beers to chose from, some light and some dark
Twenty ciders and scrumpys, I'm struggling where to start
There's gin and there's whisky, vodka and vermouth
This is it, my turn, my moment of truth.
This is taking far too long
I'm breaking into a sweat
Heart pounding, stomach churning
My back is dripping wet
Here they come now
Sweeping down from the hill
In ones and twos and threes
Hunting for their nightly thrill
From the left and from the right
From the front and from the back
Like a swarm of bees
I should have seen it coming
I'm surrounded by security
Floodlights blazing
Tazers tazing
Man this is crazy
What did I do?
I know it's unbelievable
I wasn't being unreasonable
I thought it was achievable
And certainly not deceivable
Not having my ID on me
At the age of twenty two
