Letter

As I sit here alone again

With tears streaming down my face

Tears of joy

Tears of fear

Tears of love

We stand together in this place.

What was I thinking with my nose pressed against your neck?

All those months ago

With my arms around you

Holding you

Hoping

That this moment would last forever

That dawn would pass us by

Leaving us to slumber on

In our half light dream world we created that night.

What was I thinking with my chest against your warm soft back?

My knees behind your knees, your feet resting on top of mine?

A stranger who seemed to know me

And had so much more to share

Who hinted at a future I could not comprehend or hoped to dare.

Forcing me from my hiding places

Exposing my shadows to the light

Raising walls and ramparts my slings and arrows could not breach

That opened the door so many times

To have it shut so hard in her face

That listened with compassion

And forgave

And played

And had faith.

I sit here alone again, counting down the days

Until I'm at home again with the girl with the extra beer.